The Profane Dog

Taken from the forum archives

Cease firing!

Originally published: 12th August, 2011

As the number one spamgun around here, I thought it was my responsibility to advise you that owing to foreign spamguns firing with all cylinders at our new phpBB installation, it was decided that for the health of the community, the board was to be shut down.

I utilised my superior spamming abilities to fire until the board completely collapsed under the sheer absurdity of my electronic ciggies, pyramid flyers, gain-weight-quick schemes, penis-reducing-machines, Viagra returns, and other nefarious goods and services.

Thankfully, these events have no effect on the main (this) site, as this continues as normal (ie: dead(ish)), and no-one ever used the board anyway.

Bye bye spammers, my spamgun is bigger than yours.


Alternative beliefs

Originally published: 11th August, 2011

It is but recently that I have learned that this venerable organ of enlightenment attached to the body of OTS. Not only entertains and educates but also espouses a belief system.

News to me.

Still, even more especially it appears. It's not just any old fusty belief system. Encrusted with dust, distrust and disillusionment. Oh no, it's an "alternative" belief system we push here.

Personally I think this is great news and it leaves me asking only one question.

Can we have a cult and how much money can we make from it?

Also, if a cult, isn't that a prerequisite for sexual experimentation? In order to gain a closer relationship with the all seeing whatsit. Cheesy or otherwise.


Spirituality Without Absurdity

Originally published: 18th October, 2007

Most people have a sense that there is something greater than the self or than the human race. Most people have a deep need to belong to a community, this is perhaps the main reason why people join or stick with religions they may privately doubt. A religion old or new, that stressed the magnificence of the universe, might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence hardly tapped by the conventional faiths.

I feel a deep sense of peace and belonging and wonder in the midst of nature, in a forest, by the ocean, or on a mountain top.

I am speechless when I look up at the sky on a clear moonless night and see the stars as thick as sand on a beach.

When I see breakers crashing on a rocky shore, or hear wind rustling in a poplar's leaves, I am uplifted by the energy and creativity of existence.

I find it impossible to believe in supernatural beings, and difficult to conceive of anything more worthy of worship than the beauty of nature and the power of the universe.

My religion will not require faith in miracles, invisible entities or supernatural powers. It accepts and affirms life joyously. It does not regard this life as a waiting room or a staging post on the way to a better existence after death. It teaches reverence and love and active concern for nature. Nature was not created for us to use or abuse - Nature created us, we are an inseparable part of her, and we have a duty of care towards her. It enthusiastically embraces the picture of a vast, creative and often violent universe. We need spirituality in keeping with this new knowledge, not one that seeks to deny or explain away parts of it. It does not simply co-exist uncomfortably with science: it fully embraces science as part of the human exploration of the universe. However, this does not mean we believe that science can answer all questions, nor that we endorse all modern technologies regardless of their impact on nature. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty - it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and this alone, I am a deeply religious man. I believe in the cosmos. All of us are linked to the cosmos. So nature is my god. To me, nature is sacred. Trees are my temples and forests are my cathedrals. God is not the voice in the whirlwind. God is the whirlwind.

I revere and celebrate the Universe. It is self-organizing, ever-evolving and inexhaustibly diverse. Its overwhelming power, beauty and fundamental mystery compel the deepest human reverence and wonder.

All matter, energy, and life are an interconnected unity of which we are an inseparable part. Rejoice in our existence and seek to participate ever more deeply in this unity through knowledge, celebration, meditation, empathy and love.

We are an integral part of Nature, which we should cherish, revere and preserve in all its magnificent beauty and diversity.

We should strive to live in harmony with Nature locally and globally. Strive to treat all living beings with compassion and respect. All humans are equal centers of awareness of the Universe and nature, and all deserve a life of equal dignity and mutual respect.

There is a single kind of substance, energy/matter, which is vibrant and infinitely creative in all its forms. I see death as the return to nature of our elements, and the end of our existence as individuals. The forms of "afterlife" available to humans are natural ones, in the natural world.

Our actions, our ideas and memories of us live on, according to what we do in our lives. Our genes live on in our families, and our elements are endlessly recycled in nature.

Every individual has direct access through perception, emotion and meditation to ultimate reality, which is the Universe and Nature. There is no need for preaching by priests, gurus or scriptures.

This is only part of the Wiccan Rede but it's the part I believe in!

Bide the Wiccan Laws ye must
In Perfect Love and Perfect Trust.
Live and let live
Fairly take and fairly give.
Soft of eye and light of touch
Speak little, listen much.
With the fool no season spend
Or be counted as his friend.
Merry meet and merry part
Bright the cheeks and warm the heart.
Eight words ye Wiccan Rede
And it harms none, Do what ye will.


Best Links Ever

Originally published: 16th January, 2002

Rather than recompile the original "Best Links Ever" thread from the now executed "Profane Dog" forum, we decided it would be far easier to just grab all the links and bugger the rest. Which is exactly what we did. So below you'll find a massive collection of mad links, dead or alive, we no longer know, without description, in a big long list.

Collected from January 2002 to August 2005.

Note: These links are very, very old now, so could lead somewhere completely different, dangerous, or just be broken entirely. Be sure to turn on all your blockers before following any link, or go through a proxy to be 100% sure of no tracking, still won't stop any zero days but there's no way that has happened in the history of the net ever before.

There are some right crackers in there, go on, dig in (if you dare).